Holding out, or Holding on?

I've said it before, but obedience is bliss, not ignorance.  In ignorance you do not see, there is only what you perseve.  In obedience there is a true sight, the opportunity to see who God truly is through a clear lense and not through the eyes of the fleshly character.

My husband has been searching for a new position with in Wells Fargo.  For months he has been waiting for God to show us what to do.  Recently he began applying for jobs, praying for favor and direction.  We would pray that God would close doors that shouldn't be opened and make the path clear.  Then an amazing opportunity arose and Lewis was one of the last two vying for the position.  Due to an HR technicality, he wasn't able to accept the position, even thought the manager said he really liked him. 

We were crushed.  Through our human eyes, our fleshly ignorant lense, we felt like God had let us down.  (Just like humans can sometimes do.)  We were looking at God and reacting to Him like in a human relationship(ie: because I let others down, I feel like God lets me down).  We thought "we are faithful, this job would have been such a blessing for our family."  We were confused and even angry.

I got upset and honest with the Lord.  He asked me to confront some issues with our finances, I had to be honest with myself and with my husband.  I had to take responsibility for some things that I didn't want to even look at.  It wasn't fun, and God is still working with me.

I was then able to see.  God reminded me that He isn't holding out on me, He is holding onto me(just because I hold back with others, doesn't mean God does).  He was waiting for obedience, honesty with Him and ourselves.  I knew that no matter what what it looked like, God has what is best for me.  Even if its not conveneint, easy, or what I had in mind.

We kept praying and seeking God's favor and wisdom.  This last week Lewis was presented with not one job offer but two.  He was able to choose, and we can now see how this place the Lord brought us is far better than the place we would have brought ourselves.  We are so impatient, but the Lord holds us back for what is better.  He isn't holding out, He is holding on. 

"Just another thing I do"

I love the words of wisdom from Oswald Chambers, the problem comes in desiphering it.  His studies are usually wordy and creates an amazing enviroment for picking, processing, and really digging deeper.  I'm not objecting to this in any way, but the season of my life makes this process painfully slow.  I can maybe get one devotional done a week, and I still feel I'm lacking the internal processing that I love so much.  My mind feels bombarded by other issues which seem far less important, but are ever present.  You know, the dishes, kids neeing water, taking little ones potty, and teaching a 5 year old to read.  Okay, so after I listed it, I guess there is some merrit there.  But I feel that there is no consistancy in my daily devotion.  I'm grabbing bits and peices thorugh out the day and I some days have almost no focus on the things of Heaven. 

Anyway, my point is, I feel so very off from where I'd like to be.  Then the good ol' O.C. reminded me today, (well, actually November 14 if you want to go here and read it) that it is very easy to make consistancy with the Lord a fetish.  To just go about our things in an empty, imitation of a relationship with God and more as an instinct.  There is nothing wrong with consistancy, but if we look at the life of Jesus, there was never a more inconsistant being; but He was never inconsistant with he Father. 

This life leaves tons of room for consistancy (mundane everyday stuff), but I guess I can thank God that I have to search Him out.  I have to make time, find time, and sometimes steal time in order to be with Him.  I'm able to take my mundane activities of consistancy and I get to turn them into meetings with my maker.  Dishes become a worship service, just ask my kids- they are usually yelling at me to be quiet.  Folding clothes becomes a time of prayer over the one who wears the garments, every bite of their food holds a blessing. 

I feel God asking me, you will worship and follow me in the fanatical things;  thats the fun part.  Now follow me in the quietness and consistancy of your home life, but don't make it consistant, don't make it boring, don't make it "just another thing I do." 

First Father

Psalm 89:26
He will call out to me, ‘You are my Father, my God, the Rock my Savior.’
God chose the role of Father and gave it to Himself before anyone else.  This sacrifical role is something our society has failed to see value in.  If this is a position, a title God bestowed upon Himself, there must be honor and an authority bestowed to each man who holds this position in his home.

Under Construction

What is the busiest room in your house?  Ours is the kitchen.  For as small as it is, it sure works hard.  We revamped our kitchen several years back, when Jack was just a toddler.  Our cabinets were a mess, our fridge was in our living room for a few days and it was all paper plates all the time.  Come to think about it, its still all paper plates all the time.  That's besides the point.

Its not easy dealing with renovations.  There is a lot of labor on our part, countless hours of work.  And while we work on renewing our spaces, they don't quite work to their full potential.  Like a fridge in the living room, or missing appliances, counters, sinks, you just can't fully function and use the space the way it was created to be used.

A little over a year ago, God gave me a dream of Him remodeling a bathroom.  I literally saw His hands restoring a bathroom.  He was making it better, making it new.  That is a big reason why my blog is titles "Daily Restoration."  God needs to be able to restore us daily, we need to allow the Spirit to change the appliances and counter tops when He sees fit.  We should be always changing and moving with the Spirit.  The little changes are difficult to work around(like painting walls), but its only a small hindrances in our functionality and are thankfully quick work.

But then there are times in our lives when God does a major overhaul.  He guts the house, rips out the toilets, and the plumbing.  This is when we find it very difficult to use the house of God the way He made it.  This is usually when we start asking God if we are any use at all.  "What is my purpose?  I have no use."  Just as a house that is under major restoration, is not very functional in it original purpose.  There are times when we are under God's construction, that we will not be used in our gifting or purpose.   

This is only for a time.  Usually construction ends with celebration, and great joy, and a long nap.  When God restores us, we will be brought back better than before, and with greater purpose, and better function.  Because when God restores His house, He won't just make it look like it used to, He will make it better!

Righteous Recieving

Living in America is a sure way to be unsatisfied.  We are inundated with marketing on t.v., bragging from co-workers, and Target.  I try to avoid Target unless I'm truly in need, I work at home so I can dodge the co-worker bit, but t.v. does get to me, so I don't watch too much.  Still, sometimes I want.

Our church has begun reading Crazy Love, and Radical, I haven't yet, but our discussions have been about going to the extreme with Jesus.  He wants us to be loving others to the extent that He does, and he just might ask us to sell every last piece of our "American Dream" and give it to the poor.  What do I do with that?  In a society that is based on stuff?  I didn't grow up rich, I was middle class.  I wouldn't call myself materialistic, but I do have kids I want to bless, but I don't want them to find joy in things, but instead in giving.  Is it wrong to want pretty things, to decorate my house and enjoy my life? 

So I'm getting honest, I'm evaluating my life and deciding if I truly have more than I need.  There is enough outflow of cash on groceries to keep a small country going, so I begin to feel guilty that I have so much.  I have more than one pair of shoes.  My drawers are overflowing with free clothes, my house is warm, and I'm NEVER hungry, and my house is pretty.

Then God slams me with it, out of my own mouth.  I'm emptying my brain in small groups on Sunday, expressing my concern with raising a generation who wants and doesn't give, and what do I do with all I have, if I do have too much.  Then, a few minutes later, it falls out.  It probably wasn't for anyone but me, because they all sat their quiet like, "uh, what does that have to do with anything".

 "As much as we give, we have to be able to receive a blessing too.  No matter what it is, no matter what the sacrifice on the other end.  Receiving is just as important as giving."  I was still asking God my questions a day later, then He asked me if I was receiving the gifts He has given me.  I wasn't, I was feeling guilty about them.  He reminded me that I was blessed, that I can bless others in my receiving, but I don't need to feel bad for what I have. 

This may be different for you, maybe you do have some things you have to evaluate.  But we all need to evaluate, and see if we are receiving our good gifts, making idols out of them, or feeling guilty for being put in America.  We aren't bad just because we are American's.   We are living off the blessings from past generations, lets make sure we make the right and holy choices today, so our next generations can enjoy the same blessings we have.

Seasons

We all have our favorite seasons.  Whether its the new life of Spring, the heat of Summer, the vibrancy of Fall, or the crispness of Winter, we all favor one over the other.  As the seasons change its hard for me to remember the last one longer than the change of temperature.  The memory of the heat and humidity of July is fading and I can't quite image the bitter cold yet; but the Autumn season is fresh with color and beauty. 

As we set into our favorite season we long to hold onto that time with a force that we can never hold, yet we try.  We loathe the thought of what the next season might hold.  But other season we can't wait for them to pass.  We look to the next with promise and hope.

As with the natural world, so it is with the spiritual world.  Are we clinging to our current season in fear of what God might bring next, or are we constantly looking forward to what is ahead in the next season?  Either way, we will never be able to completely hold the memory of the past or keep the season from changing,; nor will we ever be able to determine the full scale of our future, in which we risk missing God's true intent..  Its best to let the seasons change and to remain, to take the hope and trials, the warmth and the cold.  Thechange of seasons come full circle in God's perfect calendar.

Psalm 104:19
He made the moon to mark the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down.

Daniel 2:21
He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.
Acts 14:17
Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.”

Idadequate by Choice

inadequate [ɪnˈædɪkwɪt]

adj

1. not adequate; insufficient

2. not capable or competent; lacking

Be a centre for Jesus Christ to pour living water through. Stop being self-conscious, stop being a sanctified prig, and live the life hid with Christ. The life that is rightly related to God is as natural as breathing wherever it goes. The lives that have been of most blessing to you are those who were unconscious of it. -OC

I hear people say that we aren't doing "enough", and by all means if the Lord has called you to do something and you haven't, you better get your butt moving.  Enough can be a dangerous word for Christians, so in an attempt to fight off our lack of zeal, or fear of inadequacy, we do more. 

Its very important to see through which resource we are doing our "enough" or our "more."  Oswald Chambers says we are actually a better good when we have no idea we are even doing good.  As soon as we realize we have something to offer, or we are a use to God, we are immediately unusable.  Pride, and the fact that we may begin to think we may not need as much of God as we thought, can sever any good.

There are steps we must take to make ourselves available to God's works.  We have to help the hungry, the weak, the hurting, the Bible commands it, and the Holy Spirit is impressing it upon all our hearts.  Make sure you are not only doing what you are comfortable with just so you won't feel inadequate in your calling. 

There has never been a situation I felt more inadequate to play than mother.  If a woman wanted to do this thing right, she would need a psychology degree, a criminal justice degree, a law degree (for the arguments sake), an economics degree, and a few cooking classes couldn't hurt.  I've never dropped foot inside a college of any sort, so most days I feel like I'm not equipped to take play this role well. 

So if I so not have the adequate resources to perform this call of God, where do I turn?  To the only one who has supreme wisdom, peace, love, and guidance.   I will let Jesus pour out from me, and I will be content in my weakness, and trust the Lord that He is doing through me what I can not by myself.  And hopefully, I'm completely unaware that I'm even doing any good so that I will actually be a success. 

Grow strong in your weakness...My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness," -Jesus Calling.

In no way am I saying that we live lives of sorrow, with the feeling like we are failures, but we must have enough courage to fail.  We need to be able to take the risk of being inadequate so that our Lord can use that weakness to bless the world through our unconsciousness.