Biblical Servant Hood Part 1 - Serving Self -

You can tell I have a lot to say when it starts out "Part 1."  This is mostly because I'm preaching to myself.  The idea of being a servant is almost a romantic idea in the church, as long as you have control over it.  But we aren't the ones who are supposed to have control over anything. And as God is leading me towards truth, the romance is melting and my flesh is screaming. 

“Self-righteous service picks and chooses whom to serve. Sometimes the low and defenseless are served because that will ensure a humble image. True service is indiscriminate in its ministry. It has heard the command of Jesus... "-unknown

Phil 2:1-4 Now if you have known anything of Christ's encouragement and of his reassuring love; if you have known something of the fellowship of his Spirit, and of compassion and deep sympathy, do make my joy complete--live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and spirit between you. Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves. None of you should think only of his own affairs, but consider other people's interests also.

Phil 2:3-4  Don't do anything from selfish ambition, or from a cheap desire to boast; but be humble towards each other, never thinking you are better than others. And look out for each other's interests, not just for your own.

 "Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh like service, and nothing transforms the desires of the flesh like serving in hiding. The flesh whines against service but screams against hidden service. It strains and pulls for honor and recognition. It will devise subtle, religiously acceptable means to call attention to the service rendered. If we stoutly refuse to give in to this lust of the flesh, we crucify it. Every time we crucify the flesh, we crucify pride and arrogance." -Richard Foster

Remember there is nothing wrong with wanting to be great; we just need to remember the time frame in which we will obtain greatness.  And if we do get greatness on this Earth, we must remind ourselves the point of that greatness, is only to glorify God.  Everything in this life should point others to God, our helper and our only reason for greatness in the first place. 

You know you are serving yourself if you only serve when its comfortable or convenient for you, if its something that isn't a sacrifice for you.  If you only serve out of a motive of recognition or reward, that's self serving.  If you aren't serving with an attitude of love like Jesus would have, again, that is only serving yourself.  Pretty much, if I'm getting more out of it then the one I'm "serving", its probably not the Biblical servant hood that I'm searching for.

 I'm not preaching at you, I'm still preaching to myself, but I thought I'd let you in on my conversation with myself.  This isn't an idea that is easy for us humans.  No one wants to be uncomfortable or required to do more then they think they can handle.  But we are called to run this race to win, and every runner needs to stretch before they run.  No, stretching doesn't always feel good, but the freedom of movement you get after loosening those muscles is always worth it!

Come along and read more in Part 2 -Serving Christ and Serving in Love-

The Only Greatness Worth Having

We all have great ambitions.  We all want to feel we have accomplished something of value.  There is a drive in each of us to leave a legacy of some kind.  We might initially measure our greatness by the world’s point of view, or what the world sees as worthy aspiration.  So then, if my position is small or humble it might be easy to declare my life a waste or unsuccessful. 

So many of us in the world today strive their entire lives to bring upon themselves a certain status, or self fulfilled title as a way to reach the "ultimate self".  There is a big push to "be the best self you can be" or to find "a new awareness of yourself"; this might make sense if this was the only world I were to live in.  Luckily, it is not. 

I have seen myself as a seeker of the great.  We all desire to hear others speak of our own greatness.  Who doesn’t like accolades over what you have accomplished?  I've found myself wanting to write great things, so that I might be lifted up.  Although it’s not wrong to desire greatness, this is after all a trait that God Himself instilled into us, but it is wrong to be self seeking.  There is a great danger in being successful on your own terms. 

Jesus said it is difficult for the rich to enter the kingdom. (Matthew 19:24 (New International Version, ©2011)²⁴ Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”) Why? Not because wealth or money is bad, but because they have so much of themselves invested into this life, into their treasures here, it’s harder to let go of those things, the things you put your blood, sweat, and tears into, in order to pursue your assignment in the next stage, eternity.  There is a song out there by Lecrae that says “‘cause if I do it by myself I'm scared that I'll succeed, and no longer trust in you, I'll only trust in me."  When you are successful by your own terms, you feel like you can tackle this on your own, not looking for your eternal assignment.  Why would you if this one is working out so well for you?

It is futile to bring about ultimate greatness in this life.  Are we not living to see the ultimate crown, the crown that Jesus will bestow upon us in the next life?  As much as I love to hear how God is blessing others through my writings or my life, I would gladly forgo greatness on this Earth, so I could obtain true greatness and acclaim from God.  Mike Bickle writes, "I am no different than the rest of the world in my longing to be great.  I'm just determined to focus on seeking it in a different time frame."

I remember hearing as a kid that what you do on this Earth will some how pass over into eternity as some sort of a payment for how well you lived your life.  It felt like some kind of reward chart, a way to get us to do what our parents wanted us to, without them having to dole out any prizes now.  Sounds convenient anyway, and I have to admit, I’m very tempted to use it on my own kids.

But I’m realizing now, as much as this life is a chance to “store up our reward in Heaven” (Matthew 5:12), it’s also a training ground for what our next mission in eternity will be.  God never appoints us to anything without providing a process of preparation.

  I always thought my “job” would be over as soon as I die.  Heaven will be my vacation.  Have you ever heard anyone say, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead?”  Yes, Heaven will be wonderful, you won’t be stresses, sad, in pain, or tired, but I really don’t think we’ll be sitting around playing harps for a billion years either. 

Did you realize we will be Kings in Heaven? (Revelation 5:10 You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.”)  You are set to rule aside the Maker of the Universe!  There might be a few things that need to be taken care of.  Not to mention the fact that we will need to prepare ourselves for the millennial reign.  A thousand years of God’s government reigning on this Earth, and God has given us this chance to train for it, here and now! 

Matthew 18:4 Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Most of our first jobs are positions no one else wants to fill, the drive thru window at McDonalds, the cashier at Wal-Mart, the college kid taking out the garbage at the gas station.  We start on the bottom in an ambition to work our way to the top.  We pray this isn’t all our future holds and hope for greatness in the future.

This is much the same way this entire life should play out for us as Christians.  We lower ourselves to take the positions that no one else wants to fill.  We become servant minded, doing the little, the dirty, the thankless, in order to get greatness in our next position.  We humble ourselves, we are not above any work that the Lord may call us to. 

There is much to learn in a “lower” or “servant-minded” position.  First off, I have much less to loose than someone who has an impressive ministry or position, so I’m willing to take more risks when God asks me to.  Or if I do have a large ministry, and if I’m still servant minded, I already know that it’s not mine to loose.  I didn’t create any of it, but it was all from God.  It’s not as hard to get rid of something if you didn’t pay for it.   If my position is “little and unseen” I won’t be tempted to do it for Earthly recognition, but truly unto the Lord.  And it will undoubtedly create an endurance through difficulties and meekness that is not obtainable when you already have it all. 

Meekness:  enduring injury with patience and without resentment 

“The measure to what we develop in love, meekness, and revelation during our lives now determines our positions and functions in God’s government to come and for all eternity.  Our ministries in the age to come have nothing to do with how much we accomplish outwardly in this age, but rather how much we develop inwardly, there exists a dynamic continuity between our lives now and what happens to us in the next age. “  -Mike Bickle 

With the exception of Pam on the Office(she walked into work one day and told Gabe[her boss] she was hired as the building manager, there was no such position, but she made it up and took it), very few of us walk through the doors of a company and tell the boss what position we are taking.  God doesn’t work that way either.  We don’t go before the thrown and start demanding greatness or positions of authority or power.  Those titles and jobs are given.  They are bestowed upon us when He sees we are ready, not when we think we are ready.  God is the only one who knows our hearts and our intention, He may give you greatness in this life, but it is a temporal greatness that is easily lost, stolen, or taken away.  People(mostly the world) will gladly take your great position at the very first chance they see you loosing grasp of it.  The highest positions, the ones that will last will be handed out to all of us in the next stage, the millennial reign, and as kings and queens in Heaven.

I would love nothing more than to jump into full time writing and ministry.  Ever since I was in first grade, I knew I wanted to be a writer, and look, its taken me 24 years to start a blog.  But I have to be offered the next position, and I know that right now is not the right time.  God has me doing other assignments, which are just as important.  He has called me, but He has also said, not quite yet.  I’ll just keep waiting and listening for Him to call me out, and until then, I’ll prepare for the next step.

So use this time wisely, learn, and train for the position that will really matter and the position that will really last.

Glory Inhabited

I think I have read these verses about 60 times over the last week.  Its one of those sections that you can easily scan over and get the idea, but it takes a little longer to get the full volume of what it really means.

John 17
²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
   ²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
   ²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you^[a] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

These verses are truly incredible.  First Jesus is praying for unity among His believers, something that we can all agree we need and desire.  But what He has invited us to is even more astonishing. 

He is inviting us to see and feel things the same way He does.  He is inviting us to be inhabited by the same glory He is inhabited with, to sit next to Him on His thrown. We will never be equals(Philippians 2:66who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped),but we will exist with Him, we will be married in the age to come.  We will then be equally yoked.

No being in Heaven is currently able to reign with Him like that.  Every other being worships around the thrown, they bow before Him, the seraphim rise and fall singing of His Glory and Beauty.  They actually sing "trancendent beauty" over and over as they are overwhelmed by His presence.(Revelations 4:8-11)  But God invites us closer, to be in Him, as Jesus is in Him(verse 22)!  “In Hebrews it says how we will walk as a bride, in a newly acquired ownership in relation to everything her bridegroom possesses.  Time and time again the Bible tells us we actually become partakers in God’s glory.” (Verse 22)-Mike Bickle’s ‘Seven Longings of the Human Heart.’

Hebrews 2:7 and 10
 ⁷⁾YOU HAVE MADE HIM FOR A LITTLE WHILE LOWER THAN THE ANGELS;
         YOU HAVE CROWNED HIM WITH GLORY AND HONOR,       AND HAVE APPOINTED HIM OVER THE WORKS OF YOUR HANDS;
¹⁰For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and through whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings.  

This is a concept that hits me in waves. I am completely overwhelmed; He is willing to give everything He has; all His beauty, wisdom, love, and even all His glory, with no real cost from me.(Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.) I have done nothing to deserve such treatment, my value seems so little. But desire brings value, His desire is for me, and He will give me everything He has. It’s His desire for us, not just mine, to share in everything He has. That’s why he created us, to share in the joy and things He possesses.

We will have the capacity to love more as we are empowered with holy affections for God and others. The love of God will be poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. (Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.) The very love with which the father loved Jesus will be in us. (John 17:26) We will love to a degree that goes far beyond anything we can presently imagine.

Shakina Glory is the very presence of God, the indwelling of His spirit. His Presence appeared to various individuals, sometimes in the Person of the Angel of the Lord. He was seen in the Burning Bush by Moses, then in the Fire by night and the Cloud by day to the children of Israel. He dwelt in the Ark of the Covenant, and inhabited the Temple with His Glory after the dedication offered up by Solomon II Chron.7:1,2. He dwelt among men in Christ fully and bodily, and now dwells in us by the Holy Spirit.

We will have sips and tastes of this kind of unity with Jesus on this Earth, but it won’t be completely fulfilled until we are in heaven with Him.  I love the fact that He allows us to taste of Him, like we talked of David’s life long pursuit was to get one more glimpse of God, I also thirst of God presence.  Its like an energy drink that allows me to keep going until He will be poured out in full measure when we are united in Heaven.

Pride and Prejudice

^{Revelations 3:7-13
7} “To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:

   These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. ⁸ I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. ⁹ I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. ¹⁰ Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.
   ¹¹ I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. ¹² The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name. ¹³ Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

After what I’ve been through the last few weeks, I feel I have very little strength to battle, to prepare to teach, or to give anything to anyone.  I just want to find a blanket and cover up, watch a movie, and distract myself from what I know I have to do.  The things God teaches us are great, but the lessons themselves are not easy.

My ears have been muffled, I feel God is not speaking or giving me any leading.  Most of that is earthly distraction, and a lack of desire to get out of bed when He is telling me to.  Does He know how cold its been?  So I find myself without anything to share for my Wednesday night class.  It was Tuesday, I’m getting nervous, and what am I supposed to share.  Okay God, start talking, I’m listening now! 

I begin to question my leadership position.  “God, is this really where you want me?  Do I want to struggle so hard against everything in my earthly life?  It would be so easy to compromise and just do as the world.  There would be no more conflict, and we could be happy.”  What a clever lie from the devil.  First off, I know that God is the only thing that will keep me truly joyful, even if it’s not easy.  It would be even harder without Him. 

Then, as I continued reading into revelations, I came across the letter to Philadelphia.  This was, at first, encouragement, and just what I needed. 

Verse 8:  No man can shut a door that God has opened!  God has opened doors into ministry; no one can get in the way of His plan.  They may make it more unpleasant, but God is ultimately the one who makes this plan, he knows and anticipates every obstacle (even the ones we ourselves produce), He creates a counter balance to everything the world and the devil will try to throw at it.  

The devil can not shut the door on our marriages, or on a happy and settled homes, our jobs, or in any area God has called us to minister.  God has ordained us, our family is part of His plan, and nothing can get in the way of Gods true plan, even if that’s all I can do is hold on.

This is so encouraging!  Verse 8 also sympathizes with our weaknesses from fighting against these obstacles.  God knows this isn’t easy, He allows us times for rest.  In the message it’s phrased “You don't have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me” Sometimes it takes everything we have to just keep His word, and not deny Him.  Sometimes, that’s all He asks.

⁹"And watch as I take those who call themselves true believers but are nothing of the kind, pretenders whose true membership is in the club of Satan—watch as I strip off their pretensions and they're forced to acknowledge it's you that I've loved.

⁹ I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you.

But verse 9 is where I was really thrown back, and felt that God was really fighting these battles for me.  He isn’t leaving me, my work isn’t unnoticed, and all those who call themselves lovers of God, who turn around and ridicule me, or laugh at me, they will know who God loves.  And you know what’s even better?  I won’t have to do a thing, I will never be in the position of judgement!  Our God is a just God; He would never watch someone smite His child without giving His child a reward and the smiter a just punishment.  Or in this case, a huge dose of humility!

Now this was quite encouraging at first.  But after discussing this in class, I felt so heavy, and condemned.  Why was something that was supposed to encourage me now making me feel like I was missing the mark, and missing it big time?  I hate feeling like this.  Its a moment where you can give up, and say you'll never go back, or its a chance for God to further beautify your soul.  I decided to ask Him what He wanted me to know.

Now, while what I said above is all true.  God will be the judge in the end, He will announce to the world, publicly the ones who he loves, and make the rest bow down before them.  I consider myself the one He loves, but, I'm not the judge.  How easy would it be for me to be the one on my knees.  I have a confidence in my relationship with God that can easily sway to pride.  I am not the judge, and even though I feel God's love and anointing on my life, I can not ignore the fact that I am still a human, and I'm in need of large doses of humility.  Last night, I was the one on my knees, He was showing me who He loves.  And although I'm counted as one of them, I am in NO way more than any other.  Lord, forgive me for becomming familiar with you, for thinking I knew who you were.

This renewed view leaves me clinging to His coat tails, feeling drug across the floor.  I feel like the end of a flag, at the mercy of the wind, being tattered and torn.  But I need to remember, I'm still attached to the pole, even if I feel so far away from it.

 In verse11 He tells me to just keep hanging on so no one can take my crown.  Don't let go of the pole, wave and flow with the spirit, even when it feels wild and dangerous. He is coming, just as fast as He can.  And again, when I’m victorious, He writes His name upon me, and I will never again have to leave His presence.                       

Parental Love

I kind of have an idea of how the Grinch might have felt the day his heart grew two sizes.  Lately, as I watch my kids, my heart swells with love for them.  I have no words to describe this feeling or emotion, there is nothing else like it.  It doesn't happen when my kids do something amazing, or something that would merit great pride from a parent.  Its usually the little things they do every day that seem to awe me more.  Things like the little Patrick (from Sponge Bob) imitation Will does, the giggle Ella has developed over the last few weeks, or when I find Jack reading to one of his siblings, or not getting frustrated over a situation.

I imagine this is how our Heavenly Father feels about us.  His heart swells with love for us, and not because of the tremendous ministries we serve in, but because of the daily life and love we choose to walk in, because of who He created us to be.  By just breathing, He is delighting in you.  I love how being a parent shines a whole new light on your relationship with your own heavenly Father.  Things become clearer then they had ever been, and you suddenly begin to understand.

Extraodinary Worship

So much of my time feels wasted.  I feel like I could do so much more for God if I only had more time to work with.  I spend so much time doing laundry, dishes, cooking, and daily tasks, that I rarely have time to just sit with Him, and to marvel at His beauty.  I find myself longing to be in His presence, and upset when my days become busier then I'd like. 

My life feels vaguely ordinary, what am I doing different than the "world"?  Every parenting magazine gives you pointers on how to care and discipline your child better, every home magazine tells you how to cook a better meal, how to get a deeper clean, or even how to "love your man."  If these are all the things the world is already doing, that the world is teaching, how is my life any different? 

I came upon a revelation over the last week; Nothing is ordinary when you are doing it for God.  Matthew 10:42 says: And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.”

Everything I do is an opportunity for worship, as long as I am doing it unto the Lord. That is what sets me apart from the world, its the nature of the worker, the intent of my spirit that makes all the difference.

It is critical that I maintain my time with God, this encourages my spirit to continue on this journey. These times of worship with God are easy to see as worship, and so much easier to feel His presence. But it is imperative that I see every moment of my life as an opportunity to bless others, to move in the spirit, and at the same time, bless the Lord.

I'm so excited to be able to have this new revelation. I pray that I become more sensitive to His voice, so that I can go out into my world and bless others, to say kind words, to seize every moment, and to take His spirit with. Whether I'm doing laundry, mopping floors, smiling at the cashier at the store, or laying hands on the sick.




Its time we begin seeing our whole life as a ministry, and not just our acts of worship in "church" or in our private time with God. This has certainly opened up a whole new reality to me.

Who Loves You?

 Continuing on my quest for lasting identity and value has brought me to a book by Mike Bickle.  Seven longings of the Human heart.  (Thank you Angela.)  Some of the lines are from this book and expounded upon by my heart.  I finally feel like I'm beginning to understand what and who I am, which can only be found in a relationship with Jesus.

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Our lives have value and importance specifically because God enjoys us.  We are defined by the one who pursues us.  Our identity is born out of love from the one who loves us. We are not just the sum total of what we accomplish, or what we have to offer others.  Our success is measured solely by the fact that Jesus values and desires us.  There is nothing more I can do to be come more important or more valuable.  My identity is not what I do or what I offer, but its more about who loves me.  Remember identity will always be based on who we are to others, to those around us.  If this is true, then who are you to God? How does this place your value and your identity?

My husband and I often say that an objects value is only worth as much as anyone is willing to pay.  This dictates a lot of our economy, our home prices, listing prices on EBay, oil, ECT…  Now if we take that concept and apply to our value, how is it figured?  How much would someone be willing to pay for you?  This is far beyond a monetary figure.  How much was God willing to pay for you?  He spent as much as He could.  He gave everything He had for you, His Son.  Would he spend so much on a broken down car or a condemned house.  I think not.

The fact that He enjoys us answers the greatest need of our hearts.  When we comprehend and accept this truth, our hearts are set on fire.  When our hearts know we can be fully known by God and still be enjoyed by him something powerful happens.  God already sees you for everything you are and everything you are not, you are not hiding anything, and He is still willing and more than happy to pay a great amount for you.

This truth will begin to feed your confidence, knowing there is a God out there who cares so deeply for me, who will fight for me, this truth will grow your faith.  You will begin to lean more on Him, and have a greater understanding of His heart towards you.  What would you do for God if you knew you would not fail?  If you are truly serving the God who loves you THAT much, He would never let you fail at what He has called you to do.  Have faith in that.  What kind of confidence does it give you to know that He has your back like that? 

Look right in front of you, you are probably already living out the assignment God has called you to do.  Most of us are looking for a more "important" role.  This is fed by our society and will be a losing battle if you choose to fight it that way.  Take the assignment God has called you to, small or large, and know that no matter what you do, who you are is solely based on the one who loves you.  And when you have a God that big loving you, you are already a Rock Star!