Sunday, June 26, 2011

Unmerited Favor

As I have written before, I am always searching for patience in hopes of being a better mother and all around more passionate follower of Jesus.  As I was reading a devotional by Oswald Chambers it suddenly hit me, patience is really nothing more than extending grace towards others.  The kind of grace that God renews everyday.  That is completely simplifying it, but sometimes all I need to do is give a little unmerited favor. 

Grace is defined in many ways, but the one that hit me most was a "temporary exemption" or reprieve(delayed punishment, or to give relief or deliverance for a time).  Oswald Chambers writes "It is not a question of praying and asking God to help you; it is taking the grace of God now.  We make prayer the preparation for work, it is never that in the Bible.  Prayer is the exercise of drawing on the grace of God"  I'm not sure why I never stopped to think about it, but if God is continually extending grace towards me, why am I so shy about extending it towards others, my kids in particular.

Do any of us really deserve anything we have, do we deserve any reaction that we receive from our Heavenly Father?  The Lord has bestowed everything on us and relates to us solely by grace.  Our very breath continues because He forgives us, loves us past the ends of time, and has delayed and even completely paid for our punishment himself.  We have received the ultimate deliverance for all times.  I want to not only pray that the Lord will help me to be more patience in each circumstance that is right in front of me, but I want to be able to act out in the grace that He has already shown me and gives freely to me everyday.


2 Corinthians 6:1-10 
1 And working together with Him, we also urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain— 2 for He says,
   “AT THE ACCEPTABLE TIME I LISTENED TO YOU,
AND ON THE DAY OF SALVATION I HELPED YOU.”

   Behold, now is “THE ACCEPTABLE TIME,” behold, now is “THE DAY OF SALVATION”— 3 giving no cause for offense in anything, so that the ministry will not be discredited, 4 but in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses, 5 in beatings, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in hunger, 6 in purity, in knowledge, in patience, in kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in genuine love, 7 in the word of truth, in the power of God; by the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and the left, 8 by glory and dishonor, by evil report and good report; regarded as deceivers and yet true; 9 as unknown yet well-known, as dying yet behold, we live; as punished yet not put to death, 10 as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Patience in Self-Control

A few days back I read in an insert from Oswald Chambers in which he said he felt sorry for anyone who didn't have something in his life that he didn't want there. There are often times when I wonder what good ever comes from irritations, suffering, stretching, or walking though the refining fire; whatever you want to call it.  But, in the end, there is always joy, freedom, and fruit.  Right?

So then, if we are pretty sure there is victory and reward at the end of a trial, why are so many afraid to pray for patience?  I doubt there is no lack of prayers about joy, gentleness, or love, but maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe it’s all the fruits of the spirit we’re absolutely terrified to pray for. I’ve heard over and over to never pray for patience, but if it’s a fruit of the spirit, shouldn’t I be endlessly searching for it?  Isn’t that my goal, for these traits to be my impulse, to be my first reaction? 

Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage,
   but the wise bring calm in the end.
 Gal. 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

 I believe when we earnestly seek God for something, and genuinely want to put in the effort, He will reward us and we will produce the fruit of the spirit that we yearn for.  Yes, I said effort.  This is likely why we are so afraid to pray for these characteristics, because God doesn’t just wave a wand and change us.  There is always a choice of action on our part.  It’s like learning anything, until we live in the Matrix.  We have to learn through trial and error, there is no easy download tool in this program, not yet anyway. 

 This all stems out of a drive to be the best mother I can be.  Some days I see myself with so little self control and patience, and I know there is really nothing else I need.  How can I not pray for God to help me in this area?  No doubt I will have ample opportunity to put the fruits into practice, and I will most likely endure times of intense discomfort, but each interaction with my children, and any human in general, will be an opportunity to grow.  I have to believe on the other side there is victory.  I want to be the calm in the end, and not a whirling dervish who can't even control what comes out of my mouth.

Monday, May 2, 2011

My Take on All of This

The is no doubt countless blogs, facebook posts, and twitter updates going out today praising the efforts of American intelligence, and the American Military, it is all well deserved.  Surely there will be varying opinion for every response and emotion, all over the spectrum; from joy in justice, to sorrow in a lost soul -no one can tell you your feelings are wrong.  Let us also not forget who destines the last breath of every being, and the one who gifts us discernment and wisdom to put every play into action.  Every knowledge is a gift from God.  There are things He keeps hidden until the right time.  I fully believe America had every capability to take Osama Bin Laden much sooner, but for reasons that escape me, and I'm not privy to, it was not time until now.

I rejoice in the justice that has been served to so many of the hurting Americans, and victims around the world, who have suffered at the hands of this devious man.  Yet in the same moment, I do not rejoice in another soul that has met Hell, there is no rejoicing in the fact that my enemy has suffered, but instead I rejoice that no more will suffer by my enemies hands.

Psalm 50:6
And the heavens proclaim his righteousness,
   for he is a God of justice.


Ezek 33:10
I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his ways and live.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Thankful Heart of Praise and Graditude

Its not always easy to appreciate all the things your kids do.  Of course we all love the squeals of delight, and the little hugs, and the wonderment in their eyes, but what about the rest of it?  I'm talking about the endless trails of toys that lay strewn about each room they visit, the pools of pee that rest at the bottom of the toilet, and the all the food they consume creates a lot of dishes.  I do not have a dishwasher, do you see the world's smallest violin playing for me? 

Yesterday, as another cloudy day was about to break my spirit, I got out a pad of paper and wrote 25 things I was thankful for on a a rainy day.  You know, it didn't seem so hard to tolerate after I remembered all the things I do like about rainy days.  Hey, I got to lounge in my p.j.s all day, read, and snuggle with my kids as we all enjoyed each other's bed head.  Now, if it was like that forever, I'd likely gain 50 lbs, so it was good of God to bring the sun out today.  But it got me thinking about what I'm going to do from now on. 

There are many days when I'm just irritated with a certain situation, many times there is nothing I can do about them.  Like the amount of dishes my kids create, or the mess that envelopes them.  So instead of getting all whiny (I will likely do from time to time anyway, its okay to vent sometimes) I will write 25 things that I am thankful for in that situation.  This may take some time, but it will definitely make me look beyond my own circumstance, and require me to look to God for the good He has provided.

25 Reasons I'm glad my House gets Messy:

1)  I have a small house, it isn't hard to clean again
2)  Walmart has paper plates :)
3)  I like to cook
4)  I can teach my kids responsibility for their mess
5)  I can teach my kids to cook, then maybe someday they will cook for me
6)  I have a really good vacuum (thanks Mom)
7)  I can pray over my house as I clean
8)  I know my kids are getting healthy food if I make it myself
9)  I know I am providing for my family, the way God wants me to
10)  I'm so thankful my kids are healthy enough to make a mess in the first place!
11)  I can definitely tell we have way more then we need
12) I have a really good washing machine (thanks to rebates from the city and state, and perfect timing from God)
13)  Everything I do can be worshipful
14)  I get a lot of chances to worship :)
15)  I can serve my husband everyday, in lots of little ways
16)  I get to be creative in my home, furniture lay out, meal plans
17)  When its messy, its an opportunity to throw stuff away
18)  I love opening the windows and cleaning with fresh breeze
19)  I like the smell of Clorox Green works on my kitchen floor
20)  Washing dishes makes my hands really clean
21)  Dish soap smells really good
22)  I have indoor plumbing!
23)  Picking up all those toys and vacuuming is great exercise
24) I have a house
25) I don't have to do it ALL

I feel so much of my time is spent asking things from God, I really need to practice prasing more, and out of a thankful heart of prais will come a deeper love for Him, and with that, it is only natural the glory will follow.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Let the Spirit Lead

I was doing my dishes last week and began a conversation with Jesus.  Okay, I was really just complaining.  "I can't do it!" I railed, "I'm tired, I don't want to do it anymore, How am I supposed to live like you did!!!!".  He replied "I know how you feel, I was here too and felt everything you do."  That gave me no comfort, to which I replied "No!  Its not the same, you are THE SON OF GOD!"  I closed my ears, and that quickly ended the conversation. 

Its awesome that God gives us a choice, He will never force Himself on us, but can you imagine what it must be like for Him to watch us sometimes?  In my whiny, fleshly fits, I can't hear Him clearly and I find myself weak and without the power and authority I need to live and to show the Glory of God in and to this world.

Thankfully, I'm coming into a revelation that will change the way I think and the very essence of my life.  Jesus was right when He told me He knows everything I feel.  He choose to live here as a man, with all the same limitations and difficulties that we have and experienced far before I ever did. 

Hebrews 4:15-16
15For we do not have (A)a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been (B)tempted in all things as we are, yet (C)without sin.
 16Therefore let us (D)draw near with (E)confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

 Jesus did everything on this earth as a man, not as God.  We were told we would do greater things than HE did, if Jesus had lived His life on earth as God, we would never be able to obtain that status.  If He is our example, and we are to live out our lives like He did, why then, do I still feel like its impossible?  This goes far beyond the miracles He performed.  This is about walking hand in hand with the Holy Spirit.  Completley intuned with the will of Heaven.  Every word, every sermon, every demon cast, every heart healed, was simply because He was living solely by the Spirit.

Bill Johnson says there are two distinctions in Jesus' humanity.  "One, He was not separated from God by sin, and two, He was completely dependant on the power of the Holy Spirit working through Him."  He only did what God called Him to do, He was solely led by the Holy spirit.  We can address the first issue easily.  We are no longer separated by sin because of the sacrifice Jesus has already freely given.  He paid the price, there is nothing left in between us and God.  The Glory of God is inhabited in us.  So the only other question is, "How dependant on the Holy Spirit are we willing to live?"

With this in mind, then why do I feel its impossible?  I'm looking through my flesh, and not through the spirit.  If I plan on doing anything that Jesus was able to accomplish, I must be completely abandoned to the work of the Holy Spirit.  My flesh must be quiet, and God must be the first one I seek.  There is a song by Jesus Culture (Where You Go, I Go), this is the song of my heart.  To go where Jesus leads, just as He was lead.

You've God a Friend in Me

Will I worship and stay faithful when I am tired from climbing this road that is unforgiving and all uphill?  This  question has been lingering in my mind, whispering to me over and over.  Will I love my Lord through anything?  Do I love Him only because I know He will protect me, bless me, and watch over me, will I love Him the same when I feel desolate, alone, and attacked?  Of course, then is when I need my Father most, but it is then when it is hardest to seek Him out.   

It is in this place where I need the "watchmen", others that God has appointed to walk alongside me, to pray on my behalf, friends.  These prayers and encouragements lift us up and support us when we can't stand.  This then leads me to wonder if I do the same for others who are weak.  What type of friend am I?  Am I the encourager that Jesus wants me to be, or am I a friend of Job's? 

Job’s friends started off in good meaning.  They traveled from far away just to be with him, and they were even silent, just sitting in support and grief for 7 days!  Talk about not talking, I don’t think I could have not said something to him for 7 days! 

Chapter 1:11-13  11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”

I wonder, if in that time, they were just thinking of all the things they should say to him, I wonder if they even consulted God in that time, or took the time to hear what God was really saying.  They start off in Chapter 4 already saying Job must be guilty of something, for the truly innocent don’t befall trouble, and then began their seemingly endless barrage of advice.

Job 4:7
7"Remember now, (G)who ever perished being innocent?
         Or where were the upright destroyed?

Job 8:4-6
 3"Does (B)God pervert justice?
         Or does the Almighty pervert what is right?
    4"(C)If your sons sinned against Him,
         Then He delivered them into the power of their transgression.
    5"If you would (D)seek God
         And implore the compassion of the Almighty,
    6If you are pure and upright,
         Surely now (E)He would rouse Himself for you
         And restore your righteous (F)estate.

Job 11:13-16 
13"(O)If you would (P)direct your heart right
         And (Q)spread out your hand to Him,
    14If iniquity is in your hand, (R)put it far away,
         And do not let wickedness dwell in your tents;
    15"Then, indeed, you could (S)lift up your face without moral defect,
         And you would be steadfast and (T)not fear.
    16"For you would (U)forget your trouble,
         As (V)waters that have passed by, you would remember it.

  When friends come to us, we are all too often, ready to give advice.  Sadly, I don’t often enough; take the time to even really hear what they are saying before I start sharing my two cents.  Is what I’m saying even relevant or what they need to hear?  Have I even stopped to ask God what He wants to say to them or am I just eager to talk about myself and all of my experiences? Instead of jumping into ideas, theories, or solutions we should be running to prayerful requests for wisdom on their behalf.  Then we should listen, take the time to hear from God, and then speak if we are asked to. 

This is far different from the daily conversations I have with my girlfriends.  And I’m not saying this should be a replacement for all social time, but when we have real problems that need solving, real hurts that need healing, and are in need for relevant answers for our lives, this is the model we should be using, instead of our laundry list of human guidance.  Do you ever find yourself a “self help” column to your friends without consulting God first? Or is it just me?

God has been telling me to be quiet and speak when He asks.  I don’t want to rail at the mouth so much that when God really has a great word, I’m ignored.  I want to spend more time in prayer, then in active chatter.  I want my words to be His, this will bring the truth and encouragement that our lives need, and our souls seek.  I don't want to speak from a wounded heart, but from one filled with life from Jesus, and words straight from the Holy Spirit.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Accusation: The Mother of all Conflict

As mothers, we tend to grade ourselves based on what others can accomplish(idenity is always based on who you are in relation to others), forgetting easily, that we are not the same people, and do not have the same families. I have these grand plans to execute all homemade meals, snacks, soap, ect, be the true frontier woman of the 1800’s. That was, after all, my dream all the years of my youth. But then when I try to put that into practice in our modern world, of public schools, church involvment, and coutless other distractions, (non of them bad mind you); I find myself run too thin, laying on the couch with a bag of ice on my back. Yes, some women are able to accomplish this…. and more. I’m left scratching my head, wondering how? This must mean I’m failing.

I have heard over and over again, that we must do what works for us and our families. Unfortunatley, while getting new ideas that might work for me(everyone wants to find an easier out, and a better way to do anything), it is all too easy to read too much of too many moms we look up to and regard with respect. We tend to only see what they can do, and fail to notice the things they can’t. We tend to judge our weaknesses on the strenghts of others,( setting us up for absolute failure). Who would want to broadcast their faults? I don't like to either. It makes us vulnerable, showing the world our true selves and becoming more honest then is comfortable, and maybe even possibly meaning that we are in fact failing(acording to O or Parents magazine) *gasp!*.

This is a perfect crack in our humanity for the devil to sneak in and begin accusations. I’m telling you this out of a battle has been raging in my own heart for the last month, or maybe even more. I began seeing all of these other moms who, in my mind, did everything right. They must never yell at their kids, look how sweet they are. I’m sure their kids never sas back, they are so sweet too. I’m sure their kids eat all their vegtables at every meal, never argue, never smell, never, never never. You just know they can do all the things you can’t seem to make work in your own home. The devil is prmoting all this propaganda like Nazi Germany. All the while, the people you used to admire are beomming increasingly irritating. After a while you find yourself hating how you feel, and not knowing why or what you can do about it.

At least, when you get to this point, most of us will turn to God. I didn’t go there at the first hint of inferiority. That would have been too easy, or maybe I didn’t even notice it as that, it was mostl likely disguised as humility and then perverted into lowliness and insignificance. This is an easy transition that can happen slowly, or in an instant.  But almost always without us even noticing.

Ephesians 6:11-12 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

When we go to God, He can then begin to reveal our true heart, and the truth in any situation. He is able to reveal the true enemy and exactly where he has encamped. Accusation can happen in any area of anyone’s life. Work, school, church, in my case, it was mothering. The source of any pride and satisfaction I have in my life. But, the devil doesn’t see everything and can never wage a battle against me when I have God fighting with me. Now to put on that armor…..