Pride and Prejudice

^{Revelations 3:7-13
7} “To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write:

   These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. ⁸ I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. ⁹ I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you. ¹⁰ Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.
   ¹¹ I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown. ¹² The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name. ¹³ Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

After what I’ve been through the last few weeks, I feel I have very little strength to battle, to prepare to teach, or to give anything to anyone.  I just want to find a blanket and cover up, watch a movie, and distract myself from what I know I have to do.  The things God teaches us are great, but the lessons themselves are not easy.

My ears have been muffled, I feel God is not speaking or giving me any leading.  Most of that is earthly distraction, and a lack of desire to get out of bed when He is telling me to.  Does He know how cold its been?  So I find myself without anything to share for my Wednesday night class.  It was Tuesday, I’m getting nervous, and what am I supposed to share.  Okay God, start talking, I’m listening now! 

I begin to question my leadership position.  “God, is this really where you want me?  Do I want to struggle so hard against everything in my earthly life?  It would be so easy to compromise and just do as the world.  There would be no more conflict, and we could be happy.”  What a clever lie from the devil.  First off, I know that God is the only thing that will keep me truly joyful, even if it’s not easy.  It would be even harder without Him. 

Then, as I continued reading into revelations, I came across the letter to Philadelphia.  This was, at first, encouragement, and just what I needed. 

Verse 8:  No man can shut a door that God has opened!  God has opened doors into ministry; no one can get in the way of His plan.  They may make it more unpleasant, but God is ultimately the one who makes this plan, he knows and anticipates every obstacle (even the ones we ourselves produce), He creates a counter balance to everything the world and the devil will try to throw at it.  

The devil can not shut the door on our marriages, or on a happy and settled homes, our jobs, or in any area God has called us to minister.  God has ordained us, our family is part of His plan, and nothing can get in the way of Gods true plan, even if that’s all I can do is hold on.

This is so encouraging!  Verse 8 also sympathizes with our weaknesses from fighting against these obstacles.  God knows this isn’t easy, He allows us times for rest.  In the message it’s phrased “You don't have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me” Sometimes it takes everything we have to just keep His word, and not deny Him.  Sometimes, that’s all He asks.

⁹"And watch as I take those who call themselves true believers but are nothing of the kind, pretenders whose true membership is in the club of Satan—watch as I strip off their pretensions and they're forced to acknowledge it's you that I've loved.

⁹ I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you.

But verse 9 is where I was really thrown back, and felt that God was really fighting these battles for me.  He isn’t leaving me, my work isn’t unnoticed, and all those who call themselves lovers of God, who turn around and ridicule me, or laugh at me, they will know who God loves.  And you know what’s even better?  I won’t have to do a thing, I will never be in the position of judgement!  Our God is a just God; He would never watch someone smite His child without giving His child a reward and the smiter a just punishment.  Or in this case, a huge dose of humility!

Now this was quite encouraging at first.  But after discussing this in class, I felt so heavy, and condemned.  Why was something that was supposed to encourage me now making me feel like I was missing the mark, and missing it big time?  I hate feeling like this.  Its a moment where you can give up, and say you'll never go back, or its a chance for God to further beautify your soul.  I decided to ask Him what He wanted me to know.

Now, while what I said above is all true.  God will be the judge in the end, He will announce to the world, publicly the ones who he loves, and make the rest bow down before them.  I consider myself the one He loves, but, I'm not the judge.  How easy would it be for me to be the one on my knees.  I have a confidence in my relationship with God that can easily sway to pride.  I am not the judge, and even though I feel God's love and anointing on my life, I can not ignore the fact that I am still a human, and I'm in need of large doses of humility.  Last night, I was the one on my knees, He was showing me who He loves.  And although I'm counted as one of them, I am in NO way more than any other.  Lord, forgive me for becomming familiar with you, for thinking I knew who you were.

This renewed view leaves me clinging to His coat tails, feeling drug across the floor.  I feel like the end of a flag, at the mercy of the wind, being tattered and torn.  But I need to remember, I'm still attached to the pole, even if I feel so far away from it.

 In verse11 He tells me to just keep hanging on so no one can take my crown.  Don't let go of the pole, wave and flow with the spirit, even when it feels wild and dangerous. He is coming, just as fast as He can.  And again, when I’m victorious, He writes His name upon me, and I will never again have to leave His presence.