Ug, you know that hopeless feeling you get when you know you've said something wrong? Now the words are out, the hurts are done and you can't take it back. All you can do is apologize, pray, and try to let Jesus take it from your sack of burdens. But the fact that something I've done, completely unintentionally, has wounded and has brought condemnation sits in the back of my mind, eating at me. I know that is not what I've been called to. God called me to encourage, to bring forth life and purpose the way He sees it.
I've been reading in Ephesians, I love Paul. I feel like he knows me, and I know him. I'm so glad he was obedient to God and wrote such encouragement to the body of Christ. I was reading out of Chapter 3 in the message, verses 8-13 especially, but all of it is so encouraging to me today.
8-10)And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through followers of Jesus like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!
11-13)All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus. When we trust in him, we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. So don't let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud!
14-19My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
I often feel like I'm sharing things I don't even completely grasp. I don't have the full knowledge of God's love, His healing power, or even His intentions for my life, and here I am, called to encourage all of you when I don't even know. I'm human, I fall, I fail, I'm flailing, like a fish out of water. This place isn't comfortable, and I know I'm not perfect. Thankfully verse 11-13 reminds me, that when I'm trusting Jesus, I have the freedom to speak His heart and Jesus' voice. I need to be bold and speak the truth. I will not stop speaking His heart, I will not fear the words in my heart. For I know that when I'm in God's hands, I will excel more then I fail, I will do more good than harm.
My hope is then when others see me fail, they will also see how I overcome it. My prayer is that I handle it with grace and mercy from God. I will apologize for my shortcomings, knowing that I'm human, and I will not except condemnation from the devil. I will brush off the dirt, and keep walking, my head high, my heart filled with grace from God, ready to move where He leads. Because God can even use my faults to minister to others. He works everything for our good. Whatever circumstance I find myself in, I will give it wholly to Christ, knowing He is growing me through each experience and praying that He also grows His body.
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