The subject of identity has been mulling in my mind for a long while now. It was subtle at first, more of a discovery of the negative titles I've picked up over my life, and how do I now process those experiences and lies as an adult with full brain processing capabilities. I'm beginning to peek beyond those shadows and seeing the sun. But since I'm beginning to overcome the old titles I'm now trying to figure out who I really am.
Identity is bestowed, its not really something we get to choose. Its placed on us by the world that revolves around us. We characterize ourselves based on our utility, or in relation to others. I've been a mom now for over 7 years, and I'd say, that is a highly utilitarian and relational role. If I wasn't a mom, what then would I be? I've been wife for over 11 years, there is utility and obviously relation in that role as well. If I wasn't a wife, then what would be left? When I strip my obvious identities, and they aren't even negative, what do I have left? My life isn't found in these titles, yet I live as if it is.
If identity is formed in relation to others, I want my identity formed in relation to God. God says I'm the Bride of Christ. I want that identity! I desire to be known deeper than "mom" or "wife" or "sister" or "daughter" or "cook, cleaner, lawn mower". Because at the end of my life, all of that will be gone, those identities will fade, and can leave me, and I would be lost as to who I am. The only thing I'll have to cling to is who I am to Jesus. That is where my true identity will be found, where I will gain confidence in Christ. I've said before" I know who I am and whose I am." But I'm realizing, I know less than I thought of who I really am. I know who I belong to, but I need to know who I am to Him. When I do, I will know my true identity, as the Bride of Christ.
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