A Season of Gracious Giving

As a conservative I do not feel warmth towards the term entitlement.  Feeling like you deserve certain privileges,  often with out doing anything to earn them.  I'm a hard working Mid-Westerner who will just do it myself, by golly!  I don't need someone giving me anything, I'll work hard and earn my own reward.  In fact, I'll just reward myself when I'm done!  

But does this attitude inhibit my ability to receive good gifts from God and others?  If it isn't okay to receive a gift without earning it then how will I ever receive salvation from Jesus?  There will NEVER be anything I can do that will earn that one.  

Ephesians 2:8-9

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast.

The fact is, God wants to lavish great gifts on us and rewards us.  He wants us to ask. 

 Christmas is coming soon.  Our kids are excitedly making lists full of gifts.  As a parent, its hard to decide what to get them when they have so many dreams and desires.  I would LOVE to bless them with every one of them.  I can tell you, my kids don't really deserve it.  Sure, they are great kids, but boy do they argue with each other.  But there is nothing they could do to get me to not buy them Christmas presents.  

But what if they didn't write anything on that list?  How would I know what to get them?  It wouldn't be any fun for me to shop, and there would be very little anticipation for them or me.  No dreams and nothing to look forward to on either end.  Half the fun for me is anticipating the look on their face when they open their presents.

Matthew 7:11

¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

If I can give good gifts to my kids without making them earn it, can I do that for others too?  God doesn't love me because I earn it, He doesn't give only when I deserve it.  Then neither should I.  I shouldn't make others earn my love, or my gift.  

This is a little painful to me as I watch our country spin without a foreseeable parachute.  There are so many out there that don't seem to deserve my help.  But   God did not make me judge.  He has called us to be gracious givers.  Givers with unmerited favor, marked by kindness.  Think of it also when someone wants to bless you.  You don't have to earn it, deserve it, or even like it.  Just take it, because its a blessing to the giver as well as the receiver   

Authority not Arrogance

Once upon a time I did a study about overcoming addictions.  I used to fill my feelings with food.  The thing that I had a hard time with was going before Jesus and crying about my sins.  To be moved with sadness because of the sadness I cause Jesus by my sins.  Its almost like they wanted you to remind yourself how horrible you were just so you would cling to Jesus.

The worst thing my kids can do is after a discussion on a mistake is to say "I am so stupid, I'm so bad, I'm a horrible person."  So why would God want to hear us lament over how horrible we are?  Do I go before God in prayer with a feeble heart?  With a false humility, "uh, Jesus?  If you see me, my sinful heart and all that I am not, would you maybe like to take care of this problem I have?  But, I mean, only if you think I deserve it."  Why would Jesus come to bring us a new Royal Heritage for us to stay tied to our old sinful one?

I believe the condition of our heart in our prayers weighs heavy on the influence of our prayers.  It is our right to go before God.  We are already seated with Him, Jesus has already brought us into righteousness, we do not need to sneak into the thrown room, we are to LIVE in the thrown room.  We have every right to be there with Him, to expect Him to answer.  He wants us to call life to the lifeless and light to the darkness.  It is not arrogance it is authority.

A New Class

In "high society", they hold heritage very close, legacy is a big part of who they are, and who their future families will be. They look to their past in order to know their future.  Their lives are already laid out for them before they are born, they are looked as "black sheep" if they turn from their family road map and go their own way.  (I know how this works, I watch the Gilmore Girls)  

I don't really relate to that, I grew up like most of America, Middle Class.  We value heritage, but very few of know anything that happened to our family a few generations back, especially what happened before the boat crossed the big ocean.  Most of us middle classers value our current families, and the future of it higher than what our ancestors might think of or current trajectory.  We don't really care what they would have thought, of course we are respectful and honor them, but we look ahead more than back.  -Maybe its just me then.

 But.....as soon as salvation became ours, we began living out of a different heritage, not high class, not middle class, or even lower class.  -A lot of churches think we should be poor to be holy.-  We began to live under the Legacy of Christ.  He, and all of His ministry, are now our heritage.  We are now wealthy, high class, and we should look back on that to see where our future is.  Jesus was sent to give us that road map, so we could duplicate His ministry, His power, His presence to the Earth.  It no longer matters what earthly family you come out of, because at that moment you said 'yes' to Jesus, He began writing a new identity and destiny into you.  A destiny full of authority and a future full of adventure!  Guaranteed.

We are now a new class, we are free from the chains of expectation, generation, and no longer locked into the hierarchy of the worlds order.  I guess its the original "New World Order."  

Fence or Freedom?

I often get very tired when I'm reading.  I think its genetic, when my mother sits, she falls asleep.  Usually this is a pain in the butt, but yesterday it had meaning.  I sat to read "Culture of Honor", a really great book by Danny Silk.  (I love all that comes out of Bethel church in Redding.  They got it together. )  So, I started reading a chapter that was talking about the 4 keys to unlock the New Freedom mindset of God.  He was explaining that Abram had to leave his family, and God promised He would bless all families from his own. 

And that's when I fell asleep.  But, I still knew what was happening.  I saw myself behind bars, not jail.  Its was more like a really big wrought iron fence with no way out.  Its grey and dingy here.  I asked God what this was, He said it was where I was.  Safe, protected, not in danger, but not taking any risk.  See, in my life, I am safe, I am comfortable, there is little need to take risk.  In fact, I really hate risk, just ask my husband.  I'm a play it safe kind of gal. 

Then in an instant I was Laura Ingalls running through the tall prairie grasses. *sigh, love the prarie*  This is the place of danger and also excitment.  I am open to all things to come at me, yet I am so free, its like I'm called to be here.  I can breath, I can be who God created me to be, its beautiful, bright, full of yellow and wheat colors and full of expectation.  I woke up, and I knew God was talking to me.  Then life happened and I didn't get to finish reading.

This morning I began reading again, I stayed awake this time.  Mr. Silk continued, (paraphrased) "God wants us to leave our identity placed on us by our family, He wants us to go beyond what they expect from us, He wants us to throw off our social-class world view and to begin seeing the way He sees, to begin living the way He lives." 

We need to find a way out, and walk beyond of the fenced in yard.  Sure the yard is everything you've ever known, its safe, its what you know, its predictable.  But like all those pioneers, they took courage and went beyond what was expected of them, they took up the challenge to blaze a new trail.  Its wasn't particularly safe, there was risk, but they rarely traveled alone.  We will not travel alone either.  The wide open spaces are waiting, and God is calling us to new things, bigger things, the truer things. 

I will no longer associate myself with the worlds identity of me. (I know this is a process) I'm not just Sarah, oldest daughter, type A, stay at home mom, borderline crunchy granola mom.  I am SARAH, princess to the King, hands and feet of the Creator, pioneer of the Spirit, worker unto the Lord....and so are you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=nFbMvFdRDvg&NR=1

Shimmer and Glow

This is mica.  A rock.  A plain old rock.  It peels away in layers, each layer is paper thin and slightly iridescent.  Its really quite beautiful.  But if you take those simple layers and add a little pressure, you make something that every woman covets.  Sparkle!  This simple rock changes into glittery beauty. 

The Lord began speaking to me about "shiny" yesterday.  He sometimes shows me who He sees as "shiny", I get the privilege of telling these wonderful people.  I adore telling people how God sees them, pouring identity and destiny into lives.  We are like these rocks.  Plain, layered, and once we let God get a hold of us, He turns it into this beautiful glimmer that will catch the eye of the searching, the hurting, the world. 

They may not even be looking for anything, but when you see something shining so bright, you look.  We need to be able to see ourselves as God does.  We each have a specific identity, uses, gifts; its our responsibility to allow God to change those characteristics from layered rock into shiny glimmer for all the world to see our God. 

Are you afraid of being so attractive?  Joshua 2:24 They said to Joshua, “Surely the Lord has given all the land into our hands; moreover, all the inhabitants of the land have melted away before us.”  Some rocks change into glitter, others melt away and flow like magma.  Its really God's job to transform the rocks, but we must be willing and obedient to shine.  I really don't want to just melt away. 

Do not be ashamed of what God made you to be.  Shine!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNcjzOmCWi0

Homesick

Have you ever been homesick for a place that no longer exists?  I often feel so hurt for those who loose their homes to natural disasters.  They return home, to find nothing left.  Nothing is the way it was before.  I'm sure they are homesick for that past, but its just not there. 

Sometimes I feel so heart sick for the past, for my old "homes."  There are always spaces in time that you will hold dear to your heart.  It almost makes you homesick to think back on them, wishing you could get that little piece back; but it no longer exists.  That space is gone.  God has moved you on to a new "home." 

Lot's wife was obviously homesick as her husband dragged her from their destroyed city.  She couldn't help but look back.  She didn't fare well.  Like her, I'm so tempted to look back and try to stay in the past, but I'm afraid I won't fare well. 

The Lord has so much for me in my new place if I am willing to stop looking back, and begin letting go of what is comfortable, let go of what I've always known.  I can, after all, trust Him.  God doesn't force us out.  He is so patient with us. God doesn't always move us into a larger home.  Sometimes He asks us to downsize.  There is no extra room for all the things we have accumulated over our lives.  You know how it is, have a few kids, or "projects", and you can have quite a haul.  This requires a little more work, its harder to move on if we have to let go of so much.  But we can not hold on to everything, we have to purge our garbage to have God's treasures. He allows us the time we need to pack and sort and throw out  our stuff.  But all the time He is helping and waiting, He is also so busy creating us an even more beautiful space then the one He has moved us from. 

Moving is hard work, back-breaking work.  Packing, hauling, unpacking, but God is the ultimate moving crew.  He is helping us relocate.  And usually by the time you are done packing all our clutter, when we are done looking back, He already has the dinner table set, and the pictures on the wall.  Awesome, now lets sit and feast with HIM!

Home

Six months ago I was lead away from a place of comfort and family.  I was being drawn away from everything I've ever known to be.  A place where I was fed, a place where I had grown, a place where I thought I belonged.  It was easy place, a place where I had been stitched in and was not easily removed. 

If you ever find yourself in an easy place, just wait a few minutes and God will probably be asking you to move from there.  Easy doesn't make you grow, its comfortable, and requires little faith.  Its a great place for a little break, but vacation never lasts forever.  Well, its not supposed to. 

In January we were pulled from our home church.  People would ask why we left, and while we had a few reasons, we really didn't want to be quitters.  We are NOT quitters, but we felt like it was time to move.  So it was hard to give an answer when we ourselves didn't really understand.  I just kept telling them we had to. 

It was not a move of comfort, but obedience.  The threads that held us there had to be removed, it hurt, a lot.  I longed for the days of comfort and predictability, the relationships that wouldn't come as easy anymore. 

Since then we have been making a new home, but it was not easy.  I still desired the past, and like Lot's wife, I looked back -thankfully, I'm not a block of salt.  But I knew that what I once knew, wasn't there.  That space in time was gone, and it would not come back.  I had to trust that God would stitch me into a new place, a new family and that He had a plan and a place for us in this new season. 

Lewis and I both received assignments, we knew the work to be done.  I couldn't help it though, I still missed that past.  Even so, I did the job God called me to do.  I was sent to pray over my new home.  I began walking out my assignment, and any others that come my way.

The other day I was praying over the women of my Church, and I began to see faces pop up.  Some of the names I knew, others I did not.  As they faces came up, they were stitched to the other one previous, a specific placing for each woman.  This happened over and over until there was a beautiful crazy quilt of comfort, and warmth.  A safe place of family. 

Today at church, I was home.  I can say this is the first time I've felt that this is my home.  I have been stitched into my new family and I thank God that He didn't just leave me comfortable, but He saw that I could handle this.  He has shown me how much I am capable of, I have been able to step out in a new way, and I'm overwhelmed by the love of my Lord, and again "Home."

Laid Down Lover

You can love us more in a moment
Than other lovers could in a lifetime
So we’re gonna go where no one’s gone before
We’re gonna do what no one’s done before
We will be laid-down lovers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb2oAt2GHx8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTUWBEIjlxc&feature=related

( I suggest you soak in this for a while.  Steffany Frizzle knows how to lead  a soul to touch glory)

This keeps whirling and whirling around in my spirit.  It seems to be all I can sing, pray, and long for.  The revelation that one moment with Jesus could and will fill my life beyond anything I could ever have from anyone here; its enough to knock me to the floor.  I've sat on that thought for days.  First comes love, always. 

Through a deep love for Jesus arises a desire to go where He calls, likely uncharted territory.  He doesn't need you to copy someone else's ministry, He doesn't usually use the same method twice.  We are constantly going in a new direction.  We must have accountability, mentors, and support, but we can't get our road map from them, because we are not going where they have.  We are going and doing what no one has done before.  Each of us, a custom calling.

We will be laid down lover, caring more for others and our Christ than about our inconvenience, after all, Jesus loves us more in a moment than anyone could in a lifetime, this alone should draw us to follow at all costs. 

This afternoon I sat down with my Bible, turned our my beloved song for this season, and let my Bible fall open.  I don't often do this, but today I did.  I was taken to Ezekiel 34.  (Love me some old school prophets)  God was rebuking the shepherds(Church leaders) for not caring for the flock(the church body), but only for themselves.  They strengthened themselves, but let the weak be taken by the wolves.  God continues to reveal that He alone will rescue the weak, take them to lay down on the mountains among good grazing land, and will judge each shepherd according to their works. 

A shepherd should be a laid down lover, built in a character of sacrifice.  These shepherds were more concerned with their comfort than for those they were to protect, and even went so far as to use them for their own benefit.  God was pretty clear about how that made Him feel.  Read and see for yourself. 

Am I a laid down lover?  Sometimes, when its convenient, when the kids are cooperating, when I'm not tired, hungry, or irritated.  Hmm, maybe that's not quite right.  Paul asks us to be an example worthy of Jesus' sacrifice.  Something I've been working on for months, and will for a lifetime.  I want to be a laid down lover at all times.  ALL!  This will require me to maintain an attitude of worship, if I'm constantly pouring out from a place where I know Jesus' love for me, the "more in a moment" type of love, I should be able to lay down, and go where no one has before.

Perfectly Messy

This is a crazy quilt.  Beautiful in its own right, but a little messy for my taste.  I perfer straight lines, that follow pattern, something a little more predictable.  But I don't always get what I want.  My days tend to resemble this crazy quilt more than this beautifully laid out plan.   Here you can predict what will come next.  Circle, diamond, circle...so on and so on.  God has order, He has never changed from the begining of time, but I dare to say there seems to be no pattern.  I'm sure He has this beautiful laid out plan for my life.  It probably began looking like the second quilt; then I begin to rip at it.  The enemy grabs his scissors and begins to cut into it.  God grabs His thread and begins to stitch in a new peice, a new plan at the scene of the tears.  This happens over and over, and everytime I mess up, He will do it again.  At the end of the day, I am wrapped up in my lovely quilt that God has prepared for me.  Its a little messy looking, there are still fringed edges. Even still, I'm confident that He is shopping for the perfect peice of fabric and thread to mend that edge. 

When I'm feeling cold and naked, I'll come to the Lord and ask Him to wrap me in the quilt He is constructing for me.  Its mine, and it soothes like no other love, like no other clothing, more perfect than anything I could have designed for myself.  Because He knows me better in this moment than I know myself.  Jesus knows exactly what will fit in each place, I will trust and cover myself in His plan, no matter how messy the pattern may seem.

Jeremiah 29:11¹¹ For I know the plans that I ^[a]have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Risky Obedience

Have you ever done something a little dangerous, something that if you didn't do it just right, your life would be at risk.  Or worse, someone else's?  If you have, you know the adrenaline rush that pulses through your veins, prompting you to have an acute sensitivity to space, time, and to throw out any other distraction.  This often becomes intoxicating and could birth an "adrenaline junkie." 

I'm NOT one of those people.  I really don't like taking risks, and my most recent trip to Valley Fair left me gripped with fear.  The best part, I faced them, I took the risk, and I was able to enjoy quite a bit of thrill.  Its amazing what we can experience if we just throw off our fears, and just do it. 

Obedience is really no different.  The Lord has been challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and take a risk, and other's lives are hanging in the balance.  I have the choice to play it safe, but if I do, its likely more dangerous than if I actually take the plunge. 

Let me tell you a little story, not to glorify myself, or to make Sarah look like an amazing faith filled warrior (If you want to see me that way I can't stop you *wink*), but instead to encourage you to take a risk, and let God take the lead. 

About a month ago our church was having an alter time of prayer for healings.  Amazing testimonies have been coming forward ever since I started attending Brandon Assembly(which at this point was maybe a month).  God is obviousally already working there.

A few days prior to this sunday meeting I was able to meet a mother who's daugher had not slept more than 4 hours a day for nearly a year.  She was plauged with the severest acid reflux she could possibly have.  She threw up everyday, and would never be able to heal from her hernia if this didn't stop.  Any one of these would be enough for a family to deal with, but together, it had left her parents weary to say the least.

Back to the alter time...  I saw her Mother and father bring up their daughter.  I felt a sudden rush of adrenline.  This is the Holy Spirit promping me to go foward and pray for them.  My first thoughts were "I'm new here, I don't know anyone, why me?  I just met them, they won't trust my prayers, My parents are here today!  That would be inconvenient."  The "adrenaline" pushed me foward, I was able to put the thoughts aside and focus on what God was saying. I went foward. 

My mind kept trying to spew garbage at me "Can the Lord really use my prayers?"  I kept reminding myself of the verse for the morning,   The prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective.  I will lean on this, I know the Lord called me out to pray, I will do it.  I feel bad that my faith is not more, but it is what I have, so it is what I brought before this tired family, and before the King of Kings.  After the service I was able to share with them what I felt the Lord wanted me to say.  I'll admit, I was still a little unsure of myself, but I was still obedient. 

A few days later on Wednesday night, her mother excitedly told me that she had begun sleeping better, about 6 hours a night not 4!  I was extatic.  We would continue thanking God for His works to increase.  The next week things had slipped back, we would not let that discourage, we were holding on to the promises of God.  4 weeks after the first Sunday, her mother reported she was sleeping almost all night, had not thrown up in 3 weeks, and the doctor said her acid reflux was now only mild!!!  That was NOT me, it was GOD! 

Now, I know it was God, but what would have happened if I wasn't willing to take the risk?  What if I hadn't been obedient?  Would God still have healed her?  Probably, He can do that without me.  But you know what?  He didn't want to do it without me, He wanted me to experience that with Him, and her family.  Through my obedience, my faith has skyrocketed.  I know its not my power, I know its not Sarah McCarthy, but you better believe if the Lord is asking me to do something, I'm going to do it!  I'm proud to say I'm not an adrenaline junkie, I'm an obedience junkie! 

I know there are assignments everyday.  Will I focus on what the Lord is calling me to or will I be distracted?  Will I answer these calls with obedience or with the fear of man?  Throw off your fears, your excuses, put aside your inadequicies and let the Holy Spirit guide you in obedience.  The rewards are so much greater than the risk. 

Faithful Obedience or Obedient Faith?

Revelation 22:17The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.

The Lord is calling each of us " Come." Our spirits plead with our flesh to let go and to "Come" into what the Lord is calling us to. Sometimes we move out it great faith, like Abraham, being full of the knowledge of what God is comanding.. We are strong, rooted, and we know what He is asking of us. Although we are being asked to do hard things, like sacrifice our only son, we trust and know that God has our best intrest in mind. Our obedience flows from our faith in God.

^{James 2:21-24}

²¹ Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? ²² You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. ²³ And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”^[e] and he was called God’s friend. ²⁴ You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

Personally, I feel more like Rahab.  No, my house isn't "open for buisness."  Instead of having great faith like Abraham, Rahab knew very little of God, and nothing of His plan.  But her willingness to obey grew her faith and allowed God's plan to move foward, despite her knowlege or position of faith.  The result was far more than she could have ever imagined.

^{James 2:25-26}

²⁵ In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? ²⁶ As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead

Sometimes Obedience is grown from faith and sometimes faith is grown from obedience.  But the Lord is calling each of us to "Come." 

Relativly Speaking

I'm always left wondering why my thoughts trail the way they do.  My thought patterns tend to wander, which if left untamed, can end up in some pretty precarious places.  While sometimes distracted, sometimes this is a good thing.  It allows God to move my motives, and my thinking to something he wants to teach me.

 For whatever reason today, I was thinking about Celsius and Fahrenheit temperature scales.  The same recorded number feels quite different.  30 Degrees Fahrenheit is pretty cold, but 30 degrees Celsius, not too bad.  The temperatures are only relative to the varying degrees around it on the scales.  Upon further thinking, everything is relative to what is around it.  

You can tell I'm a "Good Christan" by the behavior of my peers, or my social surroundings.  So if that is the case a "Good Christian" can vary quite a bit depending on who you associate with.  We are human, we will always compare.  Its how we figure out property value, job performance, physical fitness, and identity. 

So while I might seem like I have it all together in one surrounding, I will fail hopelessly when put amongst my true comparison, Jesus.  I often find myself fighting off pride.  I see the world around me and I quickly But, I'm pretty sure my "Good Christian" pride adds an haze of smog around my candle in the wind.  Luckily, this comparisson to Christ humbles me, its just what I need.

Jesus is the only thing we have to compare ourselves to.  We are called to imitate Him.  I will never succeed this side of Heaven, but I have a hope in redemption.  That while compared to Him, I will never be "good"; it is though Him and His Spirit that I have the opportunity to overcome and to be welcomed into His presence.  He is the only Good I will ever know, and I am for ever greatfull for His love and so glad He is willing to let me even be compared to Him.

Ephesians 5:1

 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.